"What's a charity?" they both asked. It felt difficult to explain, and I weighed my words carefully. My children have seen homeless men and women on the street, asking for money, food, etc. Each time we give money and each time my husband and I carefully try to explain why it is that some people go without the basics that we are so fortunate to have: a bed to sleep in, food to eat, and toys to play with. So in explaining charity I had to explain that a portion of our lemonade sales should go help these men, women and children that go without. Knowing that both my husband and I work in a space of philanthropy (my husband with veterans, and I with developing economy communities), my oldest son asked if my husband and I work for charities. I explained that while we do not work 'for' charities, we work for people that need our help as charities do too. That seemed to quell his curiosity. Hoping that my words sank in, we moved onto what our conversations generally revolve around these days: baseball.
This week, I was reminded to revisit our lemonade lessons when I read an article posted by Melinda Gates' twitter feed written by Paul Sullivan at the New York Times. The article, "Learning Young the Gift of Helping Others" explained how giving back is becoming a more ingrained value in our family routines, and that children are increasingly learning the importance of philanthropy at younger ages. Sure the priority placed on giving back comes from the parent, but more and more children are making decisions about charitable giving and volunteerism on their own. Couple that with an education system that is building curriculum around philanthropy increasingly into its plans, and young children are apt to surpass their parents in charitable giving over the next few decades.
Personally I feel that giving back is incredibly rewarding, which is why I have built my career around the notion that every little bit I can give, I will. Although I try and make the distinction between outright charity and the need to build new economic development frameworks in places that are suffering from poverty and an overall lack of worth. The paradox of teaching a man (or woman) to fish is to me the most critical lesson to be had in philanthropy. One can give a man or woman endless supplies of fish, but until s/he learns the skill of fishing for him/herself, the fish will eventually run out. Therefore in teaching our children the lesson of giving back, it is equally as important to teach the lesson of knowledge share, patience, kindness, empathy and dedication to a cause as it is to teach the value of a donation. For underserved populations to thrive and achieve economic stability, providing resources is necessary, but providing a framework for those resources to lead to success is even more.
My children and I have yet to deliver our lemonade sales to a charity. I am weighing our options quite carefully and frankly want my children to find the right fit. As we were driving to camp this morning, dancing and singing loudly to our morning songs, my youngest son stopped as soon as he spotted a man on the street holding a sign and asking for money. He asked me if that man had a bed to sleep in, food to eat or toys to play with. I answered that he may not. Both my sons paused for a minute. I could almost hear their brains churning with the thought about what it would be like to not sleep in a warm bed, eat food for each meal or have toys to play with. That feeling of empathy is the greatest gift I can give as a parent, a woman and professional. Hopefully it means that as we determine where our lemonade money would be best utilized, not only am I teaching my children the critical importance of charity, I am teaching them the role we can play in helping others learn the skills they need to fish.
For more inspiration, watch this video from the brilliant minds at Nice and Serious which gave me the impetus to write this article.